I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
