Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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