I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
