I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
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