I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Operation Purity has been aborted
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize
