If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
