I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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