I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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