So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My cat gives me a boner
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
