your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I am in a vortex of obligation.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
