That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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