Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
