Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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