i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
