I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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