im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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