Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
