So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
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no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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