Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
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Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
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So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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