No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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