and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
