go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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