How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
