So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
