new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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