I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize