Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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