I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
COCAINE IS GR8
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
