i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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