I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
