he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
