He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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