It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
