this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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