that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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