he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
