walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
