Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
