i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
