Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
