A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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