sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
