yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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