so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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