'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
