You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
