I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
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