my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
