making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes