what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions