we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
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I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
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YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.