I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Goodnight sugar queer
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.