Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
