Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Still dying that you shit outside
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
