i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
