just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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