Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Pants are for mortals
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
