how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize