she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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