Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
