Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize