Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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