the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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