he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
