According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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