Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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