Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
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The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
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I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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