I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He kissed a someone with a penis
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
