Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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